3.11.2008 7pm…freed!!!

i rush out from the classroom like the prisoner released from prison..*exaggerate AGAIN!* and come out with my gang..we

SHOUT!!!!!

damn marvelous the feeling was;D

final is OVER!!!!!!

the hardwork that have paid..hope to be returned by gud results and grade…why such great pleasure i have???i wonder…maybe the next line will tell u..i m goin to have a

2 months HOLIDAYS!!!!!argh!!!!!!!!*scream****

but maybe its a long and bored holidays will do..and definitely my lil brain will gone rusted and malfuction at the end of the day..SO i will find some activities to cheer myself up…

for example BADMINTON(el n those ganggieee)…BOWLING(by ck and wj)…CAMP(recommended by rz) and something like youth program(recommended by neo) or either working(WOW!) teaching tuition..another idea come out after studying at mcd for days..and red box sessions..which is a high preference by those red box addictorssss..hahha..

maybe i can learn sumthg like belly dance or either hip hop to increase my exercise rate .ACCORDING TO clarissa…her secret of keeping herself fit is by increasing her exercise rate WHICH IS SLEEPING=.=or maybe some music instruments like drum i shud explore..;D

cuz i eat alot…i mean DAMN lot this few weeks…huge appetite and scary quantity..mummy said my stomach got worm..sibling say cuz i sat lun(broke up)..i say i m too gud in current condition which promote my high metabolic rate..thus cause my stomach to digest faster..OR EITHER my brain consuming too much of energy as nowadays i ad follow uk time system(wh said that;p) study over the night stay til dawn…den take a nap continue my sunny day

AND the most important task is…..i gonna

apply for my university

 for next year ad;D*this is the time~*

and get my

 TOEFL

test asap…

maybe have my trip to genting..(plan since last year=.=) and await for my bali trip and perhaps a japan trip;D* i sincerely pray and bow…i wanna go JAPAN!!!!* al**ra please!!!!!!!*puppy eye*

this blog officially inform that i m so damn free start from today;D

*dance*

and..i m going to sell

mask

 from france and japan..*assistant* anyone interested can gimme ur email and i will forward the catelogue for u..its efficient i  have tried before…wheee~

lastly i gonna start generate some bucks for my highly cost 2 months holidays..anyone who has any job*decent one* intro to me..

thanks;D

TGI blast after final;D

“The Reason”

I’ve found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I’m not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I’ve found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I’ve found a reason to show
A side of me you didn’t know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

very nice and meaningful song i shud comment;)

Now if I talk it girl, you know that I will walk it out
Man I’ll put my money money where my mouth is
Cause you the baddest little thing that I’ve ever seen
So ima ask you one time if you got a man

 don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress
Just tell him to the left left left
Don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress
Cause we gone & we gone & we gone
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you deserve nothing but the best
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you need to tell him…

this is another good song from jesse mccatney

esp that line:girl u deserve nothing but the BEST

‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in and you’re out
You’re up and you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don’t really wanna stay, no
You, but you don’t really wanna go, oh

we used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now’s a dead battery
Used to laugh ’bout nothing
Now you’re plain boring
I should know
That you’re not gonna changeYou, you don’t really wanna stay, no
You, but you don’t really wanna go, oh

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a rollercoaster
Can’t get off this rideYou, you don’t really wanna stay, no
You, but you don’t really wanna go, oh

‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in and you’re out
You’re up and you’re down, down, down, down…

 this is too right?ain’t?

damn this is the second time i write this blog..i have alot to say but why ???

!@#$%^&)(*&^%$#@

my post was deleted!

ish horrible..but this wont stop me from continue crapping although its ad dawn;p

well,with hopes and high expectation,i step in cinema for high school musical III on the first day of showing.i m not a big fans of HSM but i m definitely a dance and music lover.so i come out with the plan since last week i saw the trailer ‘NOW OR NEVER’  i remember this line very well.

okay,i m not going to talk about how great is the dance as this is not my main purpose,instead i m going to talk bout the storyline which really touching and meaningful for a student who prepare to fly aboard in 10 months time(neither too long nor too short)

aww..everytime when i think bout the days left,a lil bit of sadness will creep up and conquer my mindT_T.no doubt i love the place i m now.i love my college life and of cuz love people around me.

yet i m keen for the brand new life i m going to encounter MYSELF far far away from the shelter i m having now.its actually and indicator which reminding me that its time for u to grow up siewjuen.childish,stubborn,dependent and arrogant must be eliminated asap .[i noe its rather hard and harsh;( ]

yeaa..i have to admit sumthg come up my mind when i was watching the movie.for those who watched this movie.do u guys stil rmb the scene when grab bids troy goodbye and leave for stanford uni as troy stay back at east high.damn when that scene,my tears rolling in my eyes.the awful feeling creep on me AGAIN.i reli felt the situation* imagining the day *

i stil clearly rmb a scene when he told me that he is going to study aboard in uk last year.* damn i hatred the feeling so much *i never ever wanna face this prob even thereafter ntg happen.but i noe there will be one day this could happen again.*this para may explain sumthg*

i encounter the bitterness of being separated *answer for some questions* i retreat cuz i jus simply cant take it.of course things wont go as smooth as the movie as

MAN PROPOSE GOD DISPOSE

besides,there are scene which showed the struggle between reality and dreams.this is the problem i have all the while.

LOL

i admit i m way too coward to possess my own dreams as i choose reality as in my heart i noe biomedic is not my end point;)dreams and reality always stand oppositely which always crack my head off just for this silly fact.

despite on that,i discussed the movie with frens thereafter.10 months is too short for a serious relationship and too long for puppy love.all nod and AGREE!!!!

*argh shyt i have forgotten what i wanna said as the blog just now was deleted with unknown reason*

now what left on me?

plenty

i started to enjoy my college life to the max,particapate in every single activity which i able to attend as i wanna give myself wonderful and unforgetable memories in inti;)although there are lotsa restriction after THE CONVO,but i still’ struggle’ for my freedom to enjoy my college life.

what next?i appreciate things around me alot;)i learn to be independent as i noe i must stand on my own feet.as i said just now.NO CHILDISH NO STUBBORN NO ARROGANT BE INDEPENDENT.

besides i love to plurk recently.u can scream and shout out LOUDLY as u can ..yea right huiying;p

okay continue what left after the movie

inspiration and aspiration

courage and goodwill

be strong and be tough

lastly

after the movie i m now better off =D

well done and great job

with frens

omg..i m telling the truth..

damn jus bcuz a pill of gastric medicine,i m ‘dead’ for so many hours..

shyt!!

i was so sick yesterday after having my teddy bear biscuit(make in malaysia not china;p) den feeling so ill den ask a gastric medicine from my mu.

she said :’aiyaaa no actel den u take this laaa..(omeperasok)’ den i jus eat it with a swallow of water..

den suddenly i feel kinda suffocate,den started to cough until i felt that my lungs are struggling to come out from their original place..thereafter my cute eyes started to swell(til today my eyes stil swell of u ask my frens who see me today)

my parents were so shock and quickly send me to the clinic nearby and  check.but UNFORTUNATELY, the clinic we usually go close ady..too bad den we turn to the next door which my mum dun reli like as the docs are all trainees and the face computer more than the patient.BUT no way, i gonna die of suffocation(being kinda exaggerate;p)

after waiting for 10 minutes,i go in..alamak a malay doc(not being discriminate towards them,but she looks even ill den mex_X) den she see my swallon eyes,den say its allergy den gimme an injection of pyron bla bla i duno,than say another type of injection is not available=.=..

after awhile my eyes and conditions are not okay yet,den she said:’i think u better send her to hospital la.’

after waiting she wrote her recommend letter,shyt i feel so dizzy and my hands start to feel numb,then i duno whats goin on there after,jus know that my mum ask me to relax but i was REALLY RELAX UNTIL I DUNO WHAT THE HECK I WAS DOING that time.

when reach lweh ,my mum just help me on the emergency room.the nurse like what we see in movie said:’uncle and aunty u all wait outside laa,doc will help ur daughter’. then my panic parents just stand outside and i was merely realize i m in hospital the rest i duno ad.they put on the BP measure device and put on the pulse reader,ask wats my name i just feel lik i wanna slp..

thanks god i m stil alive,the doc help me to check my lungs and make sure its clean and clear;p but my condition did not improve so 2 more injections were injected.one on my back and one on my hand..the back one was damn f*ck pain until i open my eyes SO SO SO big…den the indian guy help me on my hands i was stil dizzy that tym.

10 minutes..20 minutes..and 30 minutes later i m AWAKE..yeahh..i can open my eyes and see thng around.My parents came in and ask whether i m okay anot,they suggect wan me to be admited and have a body check up,as i m reli phobia to stay in hospital as my siblings there have a nightmare while they stayed lastym.

finally i m able to wake up and walk down from the place i received treatment.and of cuz the most important thg is we must pay.hahah..

hmmm but surprisingly its not expensive,even my dad say we shud go hospital directly instead of goin to the lousy clinic..hahha…

and i end my day eating bthe pack of steroids and awful injections pain on my right arm,back and left hand.AND AND also my swallon eyes

it has been how long i din post a blog..i duno..until i have forgotten that i have a blog here..

well today i dun have a specific topic jus randomly wanna post up sumthg.my bestie,vel today jus left penang after her one week holidays in penang..so sadT_T and its even stunning when she told me she broke up with her bf yesterday night after meeting her ex yesterday..awful~

but its true,if u dun feel lik continuing then just give up rather than continue doing this time consuming stuffs=)*personally i felt it*

well for my life recently..OMG..happening will be the word.i sincerely hope that i wont affect my current studies as this is the most crucial semester for me..which is goin to break or make my us trip next year.

10 months to go..wow..its getting nearer and nearer.i know after 10 months everythg will change,TOTALLY CHANGE.people around me ,environment and lifestyle i guess..i was asked whether i have prepared for my further studies in states yesterday night by my mum.

frankly i struggle for the ans for whole day long.obviously i m not yet prepare.i think i will have a serious home sick,miss people here;(awww….i feel bad nowT_T

but if i din step out the circle right now,when i m goin to make this step?again,i m couraged now;p i m always a person who wan for changes and DARE TO CHANGE.never wan to have regret in my life,but of cuz its hard to avoid.so i will live my life to the max so i can reduce the possibilities and chances to regrets for not taking any decision to change my life into better one;)

i believe,play hard study smart can be achieved if one will to do so..nothing is impossible as those people say*i duno who said tat*i give myself a promise that i will work hard and reach the highest within my ability.

and,for those who said i have change alot,i wonder.for me i regain happiness after finding the aims and targets of my life,stand firm for what i yearn for.fully utilize my times,shares all wonderful moments with family and friends.not forget i do love them a lot=)mwahhh..

i love myself for being what i want,its great to be urself.i duwan to fake off.

argh jus love myself so much..

being single and available sometimes is not lonely*wink*

well,i m here to pled for those who are currently studying abroad please give me sum valuable advice.

i m a foundation year student in an AMERICAN DEGREE TRANSFER PROGRAMME and will be leaving for States next year.well i believe mentally and physically i m not well prepared for this yet.I need sumone to help me off.

first i m a quite dependent child in my family but i m an independent person out of my house.financial is all i worried for but apparently its solved.but now come to the distance between my family and i,perhaps with my beloved ,friends and buddies.

ANYONE OUT THERE CAN HELP ME??

i thnk there are many out there needing help,i jus wanna to be more well prepared as our programmes stressed for independent.AND we dun go in bunch..we go separately into 200++ uni in States,so maybe 1 or 2 will come together.

i m looking forward for purdue university right now.i hope to get more information from those alumi or current students there to guide me thru the journey

and i truly hope all those seniors may give us sum advice on this cuz i m reli out of idea what the heck is goin on on that huge piece of land

and to myself..

WORK HARDER!!!

Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right.
Aldous Huxley

=)

this movie..huh..

perhaps after this blog everyone will feel that i m so damn weird..

yes i m..

hehe

guys and girls welcome to comment..jus wanna share sum ideas…

free to comment and critic=)

i feel so sad for woman in this word..

alwiz trapped in love..

why shud we women be so irrational towards ourselves when we face love..

women!be rational and gud towards urself..

dun ever ever torture urself..

bdw i m too one sided as the movie only shows the girl side..

why muz we suffer the pain after breaking up with ur boyfrens

why muz be stil believe in marriage lik carrie after betrayed by big..

why??

is that fate??

can we alter it?

i duno ..but i hope i gonna be rational towards love..

i cant reli express well my feel after that movie..

perhaps for guys u will feel its bored..

but i cried for that movie..see how pity woman is..

why we shud suffer all this..

i reli dun understand..

feeling so bad…

it’s have been quite long i din post anythg on my blog..m getting busy and stress outt recently..working so hard facing on the bottle on how to make myself vunerable towards challenges and pressure.

ARH!!!I M STRESS OUT AGAIN!!!

thnking how m i goin to get gud results for my second sem with the lousy course marks and careless mistakes in tests

its harsh for me!!!!its hectic and its horrible nightmare….!!!

the worst part is whenever i m down i cant reli find sum one or not reli sumone out there to hear me and makes me wanna talk.i jus keep myself isolated to others.and right now i feel extremely bad..facing my econ books thnking bout my test tml,sustaining a `huge` pimple on my chin,superb pain mouth pain,extremely headache

oh gosh~~i m down to the valley again!!poor me facing such situation myself right at this moment=(

my brain now full with rubbish

jus simply hope tat i can disappear in this world for one day..jus one day

but back to reality if i do so…my econT_T my finalT_T

i swallow in the pressure i burp them out and now i needa garsp them back=(

what a cruel reality i m facing………

happy birthday to myself..

as usual i will jus lik to review :my very first 18 years of my life.

i feel very proud for what i have achieved today=)thanks for everyone who appeared in my life,appearing in my life or will appear in my future =)

i enjoy my life to the fullest in this 18 years..thanks for my lovely parents for giving such a cosy family which i can learn and able to independent right now.

the courages given help me alot especially in academic.well the loves they gave,and not forget for those who love me and those who hate me,i appreciate and apologize=)

the 10As i achieved in yesteryear,clearly showed all efforts given worth for it.although is not as excellent as others,but at least i able to cheer up my parents,once they are happy,me too=)

thanks dad and mum,i love u both so much,and not forget to my beloved family and the one i love,thanks for giving me support throughout these years,i learn to grow up and i m a young lady who prepare myself for my bright future=)

and not to forget thanks siewjuen=)

perhaps its an insult blog to u..but i hope my frankly speaking can make myself feel better.rather than making my day worst.

i have a good question to ask..which gf doesnt hope his bf is the person who comfort her down when she is in bad mood..and vice versa.but in fact the reaction i get for these years doesnt reli suit my type..and when i show my real colour for the unsuitable comfort..i will alwiz described as a bad temper gf..who in this world can so softly tell u all the details stuff when she is unhappy..u oso noe how to say nvm jus forget bout it..when u’re not in mood..dun expect i can from onwards describe the situation and answering ur stupid questions like why..why lidat~

sometime i hope u can leave me alone when i m unhappy with u..but definitely not when i face sum difficulties outside..i need more ur support jus how u need me..but what i get..HAHAHA..okie la..slowie relax ha…take a rest..DAMN IT..TAKE A REST..I WILL HAVE ENUF REST IF I REST IN THE COFFIN AFTER I DIE

i noe after tis blog u will definitely say sorry cuz u cant fulfill me..what what what what the use to say tat as everytym the ans is the same..perhaps we reli lack of better communication.

i reli wonder why ur house phone or either ur hp can only function for sms…dun tell me u scare u will disturb me..or either u scare my parents will dislike..if yes..den next tym please dun appear in front whenever my parents appear..or somewhere we meet my sis..jus disappear..

the past few months u were very happy..and now i reli understand for u..the peace life suits u the most.but frankly to me..being secretive and ignorant towards prob is the best way to make u happy.dun ever feel so satisfy with what u have now..like me…i will never.

u tot tat guy is the main reason on our `discomfort`??i can tell u definitely not..he jus play a small role to me..i just duwan to hide any single feelings..wat i get is..`be careful ha!!`tis is what i get for being honest!!!else if i m being secretive..u will be in the cloud nine right at the moment..*provided u’re the most perfect guy..else u shant stop me from doin anythg…*

i accidentally saw what u keep inside ur draft..`bottle neck is jus an excuse??`i jus wanna keep myself silent..wat a laugh..wanna sent it..jus send it out!!

i noe how much pressure and dislikes u have kept in ur heart..and so do me..mayb u can tell me no one is perfect to me..ya true..perhaps i will never find my true mr right in my life..i rather than muz keep on making myself unhappy…

now i m being so whatever..i duwan share anythg with u as when i talk to u..what i get is not what i yearn for..as i say above if i follow my feeling to do watever i wanted to..den i m bad to u.

overall i can jus complain..afterall..everythg is stil the same.whether i m the one to change or u..but at last the prob stil there..LOL(its totally ridiculous)

u guys will easily take granted for what u have..i m not saying u dun appreciate..whatever u will scold me thereafter i will not bother..as i will tell u..oh…or even apologize to u if u wish..

I DUN CARE~

2 YEARS??ITS JUST  A BURDEN!!

p/s i din expect u to treat me too well as i cant able to do so..i noe what i m giving and i wont hope for what more than tat